There was a woodcutter. He had no children, and everyone taunted him for it. The woodcutter lived with a heavy heart.
His wife observed all the rituals, fasted, and prayed at the shrine of the goddess Shashti. “In all my lives, what sins did I commit, Mother? Give this unfortunate woman a child, any child, so that our home is not left empty.”
Crying, she prayed, and one night, the goddess Shashti came to her in a dream. “Wake up, wake up. Bathe with oil and vermilion, find a cucumber, and eat it. You will have a golden son in your lap, a jewel to fill your heart.”
Before the sun had risen, before the birds had touched the ground, in the pre-dawn moonlight, the woodcutter’s wife put a dollop of vermilion on her forehead and a handful of oil on her head. She went to the goddess’s ghat, bathed, and took a dip in the holy water.
The goddess had commanded, and so it must be! “If you find a cucumber, eat it,” she remembered. With a joyful heart, the woodcutter went to the forest to cut wood.
In the forest, by a spring, sat a tiny, hundred-year-old woman.
“Who is it, the childless woodcutter? I can barely see a thing. Here, my son, take this and give it to your wife. Tell her not to throw any part away and to eat it after seven days. She will have a son as beautiful as the moon, a boy as strong as an elephant, who will fill her lap and light up her home.”
Opening a tiny bag, she gave the woodcutter a small cucumber and disappeared into the forest.
Forget cutting wood! The woodcutter ran home. “Oh, my unfortunate, childless wife! Look, take this, a blessing from Mother Shashti! Don’t eat it today. Keep it safe and eat it after seven days.” Overjoyed, the woodcutter poured three handfuls of oil on his head and went to bathe. In his excitement, he forgot to tell her not to throw any part of it away.
“Seven days! Not seven days!” The goddess had said, ‘If you find a cucumber, eat it.’ The woodcutter’s wife washed her hands and feet, and chanting the goddess’s name, she ate the entire cucumber, leaving only the stem.
After his bath, the woodcutter sat down to eat and saw the cucumber stem. “Oh, you wretched woman!” he cried. “You’ve eaten the cucumber! You unfortunate, cursed woman! What have you done, you demoness! You ate it, but why did you leave the stem? Quick, pick it up and eat it!”
“Oh my, what has happened?” the startled woman asked, and quickly ate the stem.
The woodcutter slapped his head and threw his plate of food away.
And what happened? After all the prayers and rituals, the woodcutter’s wife gave birth to a son—but oh my! He was born with the hair and beard of an old man. A boy the size of one-and-a-half fingers, with a topknot three fingers long!
“You ate the cucumber before you were told, and now you are cursed to the underworld!” The woodcutter, his eyes wide with anger, took his rope and axe and stormed off. “If you had eaten it after seven days, you would have had a son as strong as an elephant, and the stem would have been his trunk! But no, you had to have this lizard, and the stem became a three-finger-long topknot!”
The woodcutter’s wife burst into tears.
“Waa, waa!” the baby cried. Who would hold him, who would care for him? The woodcutter was gone, and his wife was about to throw herself into the river to die. “You gave me a child, but you gave me this! Mother Shashti, was this your plan?”
Sucking his thumb, the one-and-a-half-finger-long boy stood up. He ran and wrapped his three-finger-long topknot around his mother’s leg.
“Mother, mother! Don’t go. Give me some milk.” “Mother!” A child who could speak from birth! “He is no ordinary child, no ordinary child at all!” Wiping her tears and dusting him off, the woodcutter’s wife picked up her son and held him.
After drinking his fill of milk, the one-and-a-half-finger-long boy said, “Mother, put me down now. I’m going to bring Father back.”
Who knows which kingdom his father had gone to, but the one-and-a-half-finger-long boy, whom we shall call Der Angule, meaning “one and a half fingers,” set off. Ants came, beetles came, grasshoppers flew by—none could keep up with him. Der Angule walked with a hop and a skip. Walking and dancing, he reached a king’s palace and saw his father, sweating under the hot sun, cutting wood.
Der Angule said, “Father, why did you leave me? Come home. Mother is crying so much.”
The woodcutter was amazed. This was no ordinary child! He lifted him, kissed him, and said, “My golden son, how can I go? I have sold myself to the king.”
Der Angule went to the king.
“Your Majesty, Your Majesty, who cuts the wood for your kingdom?” The king replied, “Who are you? The wood is cut by an unknown woodcutter from a faraway land.” Der Angule: “Where does this woodcutter live? Won’t you give him to me?” The king: “A merchant brought him, I bought him with money. He is a big fellow. Why should I give him to you?” Der Angule said, “Then what?” The king: “Bring me the money, then you can come to the royal palace.”
Hearing this, Der Angule went to his father and said, “Father, don’t worry. I will go and bring the money.”
He ran like the tide, scurrying along. At one point, Der Angule came to a canal. How would he cross it? He sat down and began to think.
Suddenly, a sharp tug on his topknot! “Hey, you one-and-a-half-finger man with a three-finger topknot! Who are you?” The tug sent him tumbling. He got up, annoyed, and said, “I am who I am. Who are you?”
The frog replied, “I am the handsome frog prince of the frog kingdom.” Der Angule said, “I’ll cut off your nose, I’ll cut off your ears, I’ll cut off both your legs.”
The frog laughed heartily.
“Ting-tinga, ting-tinga! What will you cut? I have no nose, I have no ears, ghyang-ghyang-ghinga!”
And the frog began to dance. Der Angule was completely outwitted.
After dancing, the frog asked, “Brother, what are you?”
“A woodcutter.” “Then where is your axe?” “I don’t have one.” “For shame! There is a blacksmith in the north. Go and get an axe for a single cowrie shell.” Der Angule said, “No, brother, where would I get a cowrie? It’s because I have no money that I couldn’t bring my father back. I am a small child; I have nothing. If you have one, could you lend it to me?” “Oh my,” the frog was startled. “I only have one worthless cowrie, and you want me to give it to you! Ghyang-ghyangor-ghyang.” The frog hopped away. “But if you bring an axe—” Der Angule said, “Alright, tell me which way to go for the axe.” “Then go!”
The frog told him the way and then sat under a castor oil leaf.
In a small hut, a two-and-a-half-finger-long blacksmith with a three-finger-long beard was forging a three-quarter-finger-long axe and a sickle.
Der Angule had no money. What could he do? But he needed the axe. Quietly, he crept up behind the blacksmith and tied his topknot to the blacksmith’s beard. Then, with a loud cry, he leaped onto the blacksmith’s shoulders.
“Ah! Ram, Ram! Durga, Durga! Durga!” The old man jumped up, trembling with fear. What was this? A ghost or a spirit?
Laughing so hard his sides hurt, Der Angule slid down and said, “Blacksmith brother, blacksmith brother, don’t be afraid. I want to be your friend.”
Friendship indeed! The two-and-a-half-finger-long blacksmith was very angry.
“Who are you? You’ve come into my house; have you brought any money?”
Oh dear! Everyone wanted money. “What’s this about money, brother?”
“You have to pay to enter my house!” “Then, brother, untie my topknot, and I will leave.”
As the blacksmith was untying the topknot, a single hair was pulled out. Der Angule’s eyes turned red with anger.
“Hey, old man! You pulled out my hair! Now you pay me.”
The old blacksmith was dumbfounded. “Eh—eh—well, brother, take what you want instead of money.”
Then Der Angule asked for the axe in exchange for the payment and said, “From today, you and I are friends.”
When he brought the axe, the frog said, “Brother Der Angule, I am the frog prince of the frog kingdom. I married a toad, so my father banished me. My toad-queen is in that gourd shell on the castor oil plant. She has nothing with her but a blade of grass and a seven-barreled flute. Brother, please cut down the plant and bring my toad-queen down.”
With a few swift chops, the three-quarter-finger-long axe brought the plant down with a crash.
But the gourd shell was too high up. The frog stood there with its mouth open, unable to reach it. After trying and failing, the frog said, “Brother, you did so much, but it was all for nothing!” The frog’s chest heaved with tears.
Der Angule said, “Wait!”
He quickly climbed onto a branch, lay on his back, and dangled his topknot into the mouth of the gourd shell.
“Toad-queen, toad-queen, are you awake? Hold on tight and climb up the ladder I have made.”
Holding onto the topknot, the toad-queen climbed out.
The frog said, “Brother, brother, take my worthless cowrie. Use it to buy your father back.” The toad-queen said, “Der Angule, the king’s son-in-law, take this bit of my saliva. Use it to cure the king’s blind daughter’s eyes.” The seven-barreled flute and the gourd shell said, “Der Angule, the king’s son-in-law, brave soldier! Take us with you, and you will win the king’s daughter.”
Taking everything, Der Angule said, “Now, brother, I must go.”
Again with a hop and a skip, Der Angule went to the king and shouted:
“Your Majesty, Your Majesty, count your money, Settle your accounts, and give me the woodcutter.”
The king counted the money, took it, and then, pulling his topknot three times and slapping his cheeks twice, he chased Der Angule away.
“Beyond the thirteen rivers is the den of seven thieves. I will marry the blind princess to them. First, bring those thieves here, then we’ll talk.”
Der Angule went back to the frog.
“Handsome frog prince, where are you, brother? I need to cross thirteen rivers; I need two cowries.”
The frog now had plenty of money. He immediately brought the cowries. With one of the cowries, Der Angule crossed the thirteen rivers and went in search of the seven thieves.
He searched all day but couldn’t find them. In the evening, he came to a large anthill. He hadn’t eaten all day, and he still hadn’t gotten his father back. Tired and disheartened, he lay down at the base of the anthill, using his axe as a pillow, and fell asleep.
Late at night, not seven, but seven-and-a-half thieves were passing by on their way to a robbery. They couldn’t see in the dark, and the half-thief, the smallest one, stepped on Der Angule’s shoulder. Der Angule woke up with a start and struck the thief’s leg with his axe.
“Who are you, you half-blind fool, who can’t see where you’re going?”
The small thief screamed and jumped back. The other thieves were amazed. There was no one around, but a voice was coming from the ground! “Forgive us, oh spirit, it was a mistake, it won’t happen again.”
Hearing this, Der Angule was very pleased. “It’s alright, brother, it’s alright. But who are you?”
The seven-and-a-half thieves said, “We are the seven-and-a-half thieves. You speak from under the ground; you are no small matter yourself. Who are you, brother?” “I am a human, brother, here I am! Where are you all going?”
Peeking and peering, the smallest thief finally saw him. Oh my! A tiny one-and-a-half-finger-long man, holding an axe. He lifted him up to his eyes. Oh my! He even had a topknot that he flicked back and forth, and he was seething with anger. What kind of a creature was this?
The seven-and-a-half thieves burst out laughing. They rolled on the ground, helpless with laughter.
Finally, when they managed to stop laughing, the thieves said, “Come on, let’s go to the two-and-a-half’s house.”
Der Angule asked, “Who is this two-and-a-half, brother?” “You’re one-and-a-half, and you don’t know? On the other side of the river, there is a two-and-a-half-finger-long blacksmith. He was supposed to give us seven-and-a-half lock-picks, but he cheats us every day. Today, we’ll teach that old man a lesson.”
Der Angule realized it was his friend the blacksmith they were talking about. They were going to rob his house!
He said, “Oh, brothers! Don’t go to that house. There’s a witch there. She’ll break your necks and drink your blood. All seven-and-a-half of you will be finished. Instead, if you want to marry a princess, come with me to the king’s palace.”
The thieves laughed. “That’s a great idea, a great idea!” But to be the king’s son-in-law, they couldn’t just go as they were. They twirled their mustaches, puffed out their chests, and said, “But to get there, we have to cross the turbulent waters of thirteen rivers.”
Der Angule said, “But you were just going to the other side!” “We were going, we were going, but we were going to steal. To become the king’s son-in-law, do we have to pay our own way?” Der Angule said, “Alright, I have one cowrie. Let’s go.”
Taking the cowrie, the very happy seven-and-a-half thieves went to the riverbank and called out:
“Hey, hey, boatman! Working all night— You’ll get a cowrie to cross us, why the delay? The king’s fish is eaten by the cat, Hey, hey, boatman, quickly ferry us across in your broken boat!”
Taking the cowrie, the boatman ferried them across in his broken boat. As they were getting off, the thieves stole the cowrie back.
Der Angule said, “No, brother, give the cowrie back.” “Hmph! Why should we? For a pot of ghee?” the thieves scoffed.
Der Angule said nothing more.
They went to the king’s palace. Der Angule knocked on the king’s door.
“Your Majesty, Your Majesty, get out of your bed. They won’t pay the ferryman’s fare; how can you sleep?”
The thieves trembled with fear.
The king said, “Who! Whoever doesn’t pay the ferryman’s fare, impale them.”
The seven-and-a-half thieves were impaled.
“The seven thieves are impaled? Alas! Alas! Alas!” The king wept, the queen wept, the blind princess wept.
Der Angule said, “I brought the thieves as you asked. They were to be the princess’s grooms, but they were impaled for their own fault. What do I know of it? Your Majesty, give me the woodcutter!” “What! Again and again with this whining! Take this little one and put him with the thieves!”
Poof! No one could find Der Angule.
In the kingdom of thieves, the king of thieves heard about the fate of the seven-and-a-half thieves.
Boat after boat filled with thieves from all over the kingdom came and started looting the king’s palace. The guards were tricked, and the king was helpless. They took everything.
They took the plates, they took the bowls, the thieves took everything. The king ate his rice gruel from the floor, his heart burning with anger.
Then, “The one who is in league with the thieves, that little one, bring him here now!”
But where was the little one? Where could they find him? Der Angule came out from the tall grass, laughing, and said, “Your Majesty, Your Majesty, so many of your soldiers are defeated by the thieves. You have never had a soldier like me. If you say so, I can drive all the thieves away.”
“Alright, what do you want?” “I want the princess.” “Hmph! What a thing to say! What else?” “The big tomcat of the palace.” “And what else?” “Fine clothes and a diamond turban.”
The king gave him everything but said, “If the thieves leave the city, only then can I give you the princess.” What did it matter if the blind princess stayed or went?
Then, dressed in fine clothes, with the tomcat as his horse, the seven-barreled flute in his hand, the topknot as his banner, and the gourd shell tied to his topknot, Der Angule went to the kingdom of the thieves.
He went here and there, and the cat ate from the pots. The thief-women were in a panic. With all their weapons, the thieves of the kingdom stood guard in every alley and surrounded every nook and cranny.
Der Angule said, “Alright, wait! Seven-barreled flute, seven-barreled flute, what are you doing now? Why are you so quiet, you gourd shell?” The seven-barreled flute said, “What?” The gourd shell said, “What?” A thousand hairs split from the flute, Hornets burst from the gourd shell! The split reeds shot out like needles, The hornets’ stings popped and burst. “Aai, mai, kai! Father! Mother! Uncle! Father-in-law!”
In the kingdom of thieves, there was chaos and confusion, tumbling and running! In three nights, all the thieves and thief-women left their homes and fled the country. The king of the thieves, “Chang Pichle,” was caught. Tying him up, Der Angule, his topknot flying, his turban puffing, and his flute spinning, went to the king.
“Your Majesty, Your Majesty, give me the princess and the woodcutter.” Then the king said, “That’s right! That’s right! Crest of heroes, Pippal Kumar, come, my son, come. For you, the kingdom and wealth, sit on the throne. The princess, with her afflicted eyes, I give to you as a gift. Bring the woodcutter in a chariot of flowers.”
The woodcutter arrived in a chariot of flowers.
Then, with the toad-queen’s saliva, Der Angule, now known as Pippal Kumar, cured the princess’s eyes. The frog came, the toad-queen came, and Der Angule went and brought his blacksmith friend. With a grand wedding, the kingdom was in an uproar.
The frog danced with leaps and bounds. The blacksmith laughed, stroking his beard.
His mother’s sorrow was gone. He had a golden axe made for his father. Then the king, his father-in-law, and the queen, his mother-in-law, gave the kingdom to their son-in-law and went away to live a life of penance. Der Angule, Pippal Kumar, ruled the kingdom for half the day and cut wood with his father for the other half.